Considering it is Suicide Prevention Month, I think this is pertinent. And this touches on not just suicide, but self harm in general. Words are powerful and they cannot be taken back. Once they’re spoken, their out there in the universe. A friend told me to question some things. 1. Are they kind 2. Are they NECESSARY? I think sometime people have a tendency to fly off the hinge and just say what they feel without giving a second thought to the other party. Verbal scars can be as bad or worse than physical. Physical scars may heal, but verbal scars, most untreated, lie dormant and constantly effect the psyche. As with ALL things, sometimes learning to not spazzticly react takes time and practice. It helps me to quickly ask myself: is this kind and necessary. Will what I’m about to say actually do any good, or is it just an impulsive action by me? Is it going to make the world better or am I adding negativity to the world and more importantly, can this hurt someone or effect the world or an individual in a negative way?
Mental: If YOU are the recipient of negative comments, try not to let them effect you. It helps me to laugh things off and realize, whoever said these things has issues of their own. The old saying “Hurt people hurt people” is very true. Realize it’s not you. You may remind them of something physically or emotionally that brings up resentments and fears within them. Do not take it so personally. If it hurts you badly, TALK about it! Do not stuff it down. Not necessarily with the said person if they are unreasonable, but with someone you trust. At the same time, you don’t have to lie down and take it, but fighting fire with fire usually makes things worse.
Physical: Take care of yourself not for looks, but for function. Personal experience: I was so spoonfed the importance of physical perfection, that after I had my stroke, I did not go out in public for a year. I had to be pushed in a wheelchair and I was so concerned about not being physically perfect that I lost a year of my life! Now, I have trouble walking and speaking, and am not physically perfect,but I will be DAMNED if I am going to hang my head in shame anymore. Fact of the matter is, no I am not physically perfect,but my body takes care of me. I am so grateful to be able to WALK (something people take for granted alot), some people don’t have that luxury. Revel in the functionality not aesthetics of your body.
Social: If you do find yourself in a situation where negative words are being used, do your best to extricate yourself from the situation. Sadly, this is not always possible. My extreme case was when I could not move or speak, I literally could not get away or verbally defend myself. I also did a piss poor job of deflecting. I built up some MAJOR resentments at the time…and some of these almost got the better of me. Hindsight is 20/20,though! I think if I had not given things that were said so much power, perhaps I would have fared better. Even now, physically, I am unable to really get away from certain situations. I try to go to my “happy” place and realize the ridiculousness of situations, and God love ’em,and realize that person is just negative not because of anything I did,but because of life in general.