The bird dares to break the shell, then the shell breaks open and the bird can fly openly. This is the simplest principle of success. You dream, you dare and and you fly.
-Israelmote Ayivor
It was made clear to myself and the world on 9/3/22: how words like “can” and “believe” have the ability to change everything. I have had unlikely people inspire me. And many of them are no longer in my life: but many are.
I knew that my final event would require some sort of miracle to pull off: the deadlift.
Many of my issues are public. Many are not. In no capacity and I ashamed of them. I just am tired of publicly telling people. I feel a bit like a talking parrot at this point.
But I digress. My fiancé was also my meet handler. As so many people know: I was going ballistic backstage. I was scared as hell. He squeezed my arm. Grabbed my shoulders. Looked at me: told me to calm down. That I could do it. A woman ( I believe another coach) kindly told me when it was my turn. Every single person at the USAPL Fall Finale meet, was amazing.
Sabre, the meet director, was amazing. I am quite sure I annoyed the daylights out of him. He certainly didn’t indicate it. The way he helped me that day is priceless and I am beyond grateful.
I shuffled toward the barbell. I wrapped my hands around it. I shut my eyes.
My lifetime of suicide attempts, jails, addiction, anorexia, ers, icus,stroke, rehabs, and psych wards ran through my mind.
I immediately thought of my fiancé, Steve Alexy who was communicating with my amazing coach,Melissa O’Keefe and my incredible teammates (in Michigan). Who were with me, on the platform, if only in spirit. My friends and family worldwide: who believed in me. The recumbent bicycle my family bought me. Curling soup cans in my wheelchair. Working out with Velcro sneakers and a walker. Learning to walk again, 2 years ago.
In a split second all the “you CANs” flooded my mind. Every single one. I opened my eyes and saw my Wonder Woman socks. Prayed for the impossible.
I finally understood what my mother meant about feeling connected to everyone that ever had existed and will exist, as she first held me at birth. I completely understood.They were all there with me:
I took a deep breath: and pulled with the word CAN seared into my brain.
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