Regrets; they can have a huge influence on you…if you let them (they can consume you). An example: when my father committed suicide, I found him around 12:30; I stopped at 7-11 from 12-12:15. His death was at 12:15; for a very long time, I was irate with myself. If I had just not stopped, I might have been there; fact of the matter is I didn’t and nothing I do will change that. I sometimes shoot off at the mouth then regret things I say, or act in the same fashion. Often I would feel very guilty and then let these feelings consume me, stuff them down with substances, food, acting out, self-harm,etc. My ego would not let me admit these things publicly; there was a great sense of shame. Then I would frantically try to “fix” the problem at hand through other outlets, usually making it that much worse; I rarely addressed the actual issue. This is something I still struggle with (people normally don’t like admitting where they are wrong). Some situations are neither wrong nor right, they just are. If you didn’t take a certain class, a certain job, didn’t have kids, lost a relationship, ad infinitum; no one can say these are positive or negative. They just ARE; don’t live with regret, just live the best you can NOW;best not to let the past consume you.
Mental: Live in the here and now; if we trouble ourselves with guilt from the past or consume ourselves with what “might be” (waiting for the other shoe to drop), there will naturally be a constant state of tension and uneasiness about life. It is often difficult not to do, but negative projection leads to one constantly living in fear. Do not forget experiences, but it serves well to not constantly replay the negative events of the past or concoct “doom and gloom” experiences that may be.
Physical: Be the best you can be at the MOMENT. Do not feel like you constantly have to look,act,or perform perfectly; we all have our down moments. If we give up, we are doomed to fail,but if you push through and put in a great effort…at least you have seriously tried (trying does not give you an excuse to quit!). I deal with that issue sometimes,many people do; I just don’t want to quit. Of course, I have moments when I’m not my best!…but that is ok. You just have to keep TRYING, not do it perfectly all the time.
Social: To my friends and people struggling in life, you can do it; have faith. Try very hard not to get sucked up in societal hype. I am a 34 year old woman, I remember my life (teens, etc. well). it is hard not to! But when I do, it leaves me bitter, ungrateful, angry at the world, etc.