I don’t know why things happen. Perhaps there’s a reason. I truly believe some questions can’t be answered. Much of my life is a mystery. A problem that cannot be solved. Clearly: no one’s life is a PROBLEM. We have them, but they are not one. We got often get so entrenched with the idea of pleasing the world with what we could possibly do that we lose sight of the joy we already bring to life. I have experienced this is my life. I listened with great sadness as I heard someone say it, recently. Unfortunately, people fail to realize the elation they have to life: by simply being. They are unaware of the joy they add to life. I could say this about COUNTLESS people. People who say random kind words, open doors, carry groceries, help people when they see them struggling, etc. I do not think people are aware of how much those small acts mean. It is not always the big things that matter. Those small things within us often make a huge difference. Maybe we’re not meant to know. And I’m completely ok with that.
One would think my many problems would lay the foundation for full disillusion of anything positive. Surprisingly: the complete opposite is true. I am beyond grateful for every one of my problems: every second of my lite, It has all led to this present moment. A life beyond anything i could imagine. I have absolutely no clue what my life would be like had i chosen another path. Not to be morose, My death would basically be guaranteed. If by some miracle i remained alive: i would still be dead: if only on the inside.
So, yes: I am surprisingly grateful for everything. All the pain has led to this moment. This wonderful moment. My life is beyond amazing. My friends are more phenomenal than I could imagine. I have love in my life. Platonic and romantic and otherwise.My life is definitely not perfect . Amazing is rarely perfect.