Nothing I do stems from anger or resentment. Strangely enough: it is simply love. Loving myself. Loving other’s like people showed me: when I needed it. But wasn’t aware. An allowance of myself to understand the girl I was HAD problems, but wasn’t one. Attempting to relay to others (like me) that they don’t have to know or understand things to somehow be a valid human being. That there is no need to be perfect. That this sometimes leads to unbelievable horrors. I, myself, was not aware. Acknowledging the concept that I was always worthy: I didn’t know. That usually people are. That my admitting I had no clue what I was doing changed me.I didn’t need to have all the answers. One of life paradoxes is that often answers lead to more questions. Pandora”s Box. Sometimes I still don’t know things. I don’t have to .I only know what I know. And that is absolutely ok with me. Not knowing. Receiving help. It’s funny how admitting you need guidance in your life can do this: give you strength And that’s perfectly fine. Needing guidance.
Showing love and imperfections and admitting you do not knowing things is not weak. That’s how I grow. The world loved me. Even though I didn’t think I was deserving. I always was. Underneath it all: I was scared. That my fears are not weakness either: theyre human.
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