Arlyn Smith

Never lose hope ! ❤️ for LIFE!

What Self-Mutilation Is Like

You know that ecstatic feeling you get after slaving over a Thanksgiving turkey all day; finally carving it after all the hard labor and anxiety. Multiply that by infinity and you’ll have an idea about why people cut themselves. Imagine the turkey flesh representing life itself, the turkey body a manifestation of all existence. Self-mutilation is a form of release; it is having something concrete and visibly physical to represent the excruciating pain that causes your heart to feel like it being squeezed into oblivion. Your lungs to feel as though they’re riddled with asthma. You realize that unless you can (yet again) taste this sweet relief, that you may explode on unsuspecting bystanders. Your cover of someone who has their shit together would be blown. So much for someone who is calm and collected; unless you can physically and privately release your misery, you will spray stray bullets on unsuspecting people in your path. This was my life then. A cycle of anxious buildup and completely unhealthy (that is an understatement) means of coping with my self-imposed misery.

2 responses to “What Self-Mutilation Is Like”

  1. I’ve often wondered the psychology behind it. Thank you for explaining.

  2. I am definitely not a psychologist! But thats how I felt. I accidentally made a claim for everyone lol. But pretty sure that’s how it is ( so people with the same thing say!) Im speaking as the PATIENT who learned things like that from an awesome counselor !

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About Me

An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration.