You know that ecstatic feeling you get after slaving over a Thanksgiving turkey all day; finally carving it after all the hard labor and anxiety. Multiply that by infinity and you’ll have an idea about why people cut themselves. Imagine the turkey flesh representing life itself, the turkey body a manifestation of all existence. Self-mutilation is a form of release; it is having something concrete and visibly physical to represent the excruciating pain that causes your heart to feel like it being squeezed into oblivion. Your lungs to feel as though they’re riddled with asthma. You realize that unless you can (yet again) taste this sweet relief, that you may explode on unsuspecting bystanders. Your cover of someone who has their shit together would be blown. So much for someone who is calm and collected; unless you can physically and privately release your misery, you will spray stray bullets on unsuspecting people in your path. This was my life then. A cycle of anxious buildup and completely unhealthy (that is an understatement) means of coping with my self-imposed misery.
I have dealt with much in my life, but in the end I am only myself.) I have dealt with mental illness, physical disabilities, substance abuse , eating disorders, self mutilation, and on. Life is what you make it; I want to inspire people to have courage and be themselves in this world: regardless ofsex,religion, political, age, ethnicity, mental or physical state,ETC. Differences make us who we are, Nothing about an individual makes them “lesser”. I fight stereotypes on a daily basis; I find myself wiser now that I do not let society dictate my value. Know yourself and be confident in the wonder that is you.
I created my page to inspire others and Impart my experiences in the hope that it may brighten and lend a sense of hope.
I am a USAPL powerlifter and Paralympics hopeful. I hold 4 NASM CPTs. I’m a CNU philosophy major. I have also studied Psychology , Business , journalism, and medicine. I am currently also a writer. I am also a peer counselor, advocate for NAMI (mental health. Cerebeller stroke and spinocerebellar ataxia battler. Sober and recovered from an eating disorder since 2013.
I am definitely not a psychologist! But thats how I felt. I accidentally made a claim for everyone lol. But pretty sure that’s how it is ( so people with the same thing say!) Im speaking as the PATIENT who learned things like that from an awesome counselor !
An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration.
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